I'll Always Be Right There
by AbayJ
Summary: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed, but that was before she read the headline. Journey.
1. I'll Always Be Right There

**Title**: I'll Always Be Right There**  
Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie**  
Rating**: T**  
Disclaimer**: I own nada, song belongs too Michelle Branch.**  
Genre**: Drama/Angst/AU/Romance/Songfic**  
Fandom**: Journey**  
Summery**: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed, but that was before she read the headline.**  
Author's Note**: Okay, my newest two or three-shot. Idea came to me from spoilers I read, so this contains spoilers. Also, Courtney never died, she left town with Spencer (his name is also not Spencer in this story.) to get away from Jax and Nikolas. Also, in this story, Courtney's son is 3, not 2 as he is on the show. That is all you need to know. Enjoy.

* * *

**Part One: I'll Always Be Right There**

_When you're all alone,  
And you need a light,  
Someone to guide you through the night,_

I looked at my son with a smile as we began to disembark the plane. My hand tight around his hand as we walked down the steps. It was his first plane ride he could remember. Now turning 3, he was already walking and his mouth was forming more and more words then even before. I was so proud of him. Once we finished walking, we followed the rest of the passengers into Port Charles airport and a rush of memories flooded me. Taking a breath, I almost laughed. Port Charles smelt the same as it did 3 years ago when I left. When I had promised everyone I loved that I would never, never be back. They had all caused me to much pain, from Sonny shutting me out of his life, Jason moving on with Sam, Jax tearing me apart, and Nikolas choosing Emily. All of it had been so much to deal with and little Marky deserved more than that. More than that from me.

My heals clicked and as I picked up my pace, I wrapped my arms around my son and hefted him onto my hip. Deciding with the sea of people, all going for the same place, it would be to easy for him to get lost in the shuffle. I saw the sign of my ride, the limo I had hired. After all, I was a multi-millionaire, thanks to smart investments made, I had doubled, if not tripled the money I had been given after the fire. I would admit, most of the money went on my son and the other children of the foundation, but I was never in need of anything. The driver comes towards me and Marky and smile. "I have your things Miss Matthews." He mummers and I give him a nod. Following him outside.

I look down at Marky, he hadn't seen any of the people in Port Charles since he was a baby. He knew of them, I was sure, more then once he had seen and heard Carly and I speaking over the phone. But now a days, our conversations were becoming shorter and shorter. The less we saw each other, the less we had to talk about. I was no longer part of the Port Charles scene. No longer part of their lives, neither was Marky. And as much as I wanted to deny it, I didn't like it. I had lost the connection to my family. Lost connection to the people I loved.

Shaking my thoughts away though, I look down at my son, and slide into the limo once the driver opens the door. I place Marky in the seat that was provided and buckle him up so he was safe. Then leaned back against the seat myself. Crossing my legs over one another and felt the limo begin to drive. He already knew where I was going. That probably shocked me the most. I was going to see a man that probably still owned part of my heart after all these years. He needed me, or at least, that was what I wanted to think. He was going to through the toughest part of his life, he may loose the use of his livelihood. The one thing that made him, him. I bite my lip and look down at Marky. He was smiling, and clapping his hand as he saw the building pass by and I just look out the window as well.

If I hadn't seen the paper, I probably would have never knew the truth. I doubted anyone would call me, including Carly, Sonny, or Elizabeth. The woman who was rumored to be with Jason once more. My gag reflexes jerked and I shook my head. He deserved better then me, Elizabeth, or Sam. I mentally shake those thoughts again and dig into my bag and pull out Marky's sippy cup and hand it to him. He smiles and quickly takes a sip as I just watch him. Getting lost him as I did so many times before.

_Just remember that I am here,  
To hold you close and dry your tears._

_Oh-ooh_

* * *

_And just when you thought you were falling,  
But you know I'll always be right there._

When the limo came to the stop, I grabbed my over sized purse which doubled as diaper bag for my son, though he was nearly potty trained, I liked to be ready. Hooking it over my shoulder, I step out of the limo and then lift Marky from the booster seat and hooked him on my hip again. Walking through the double doors. No one knew of my arrival yet, which gave me the element of surprise which I enjoyed. They weren't expecting me, no time to give anyone a warning. Once we walked through the double doors, I looked to see if I recognized anyone and I didn't. Thankfully and I walked to the elevator and press the up button. Remembering for my years here, where his room would be located. Thanks to the phone call the night before.

Once I hit it, it opened and no one was in, so without waiting Marky and I stepped in and I hit the fifth floor button and listened to the cheesy music as my son smiled at me. "Momma, what are we doing here?" He asked and I just placed a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Mommy's here to see an old friend..." I whispered. And old friend and an old broken heart. Memories floated in and out of my head when I thought of him. The love of my life, Jason Morgan, the man who had 'gotten' away. I nearly laugh at that, knowing it had been my fault and when I realized that, it had been to late. To late to win his back.

"Okay Momma." He whispered and buried his head in my neck and I smiled. Kissing the top of his head and when the elevator doors opened, my courage nearly failed me. Carly and Elizabeth were standing there with a little boy, Sam, Lucky, and Sonny. Arguing about something. Deciding that I could go unnoticed, I quickly walked away from the group, walking the back hallway and then look at the numbers. His room was three down from where I was and with my overly high heels, I quickly clicked my way there.

_When you're all alone,  
And you need a friend,  
Someone to help you to the end,_

Looking inside, I saw that he was alone but awake, his deep blue eyes staring at his hand with a look of pain and I took a breath myself. My heart breaking for the man. He looked so sad and alone, like he had been the day I walked away from him. Biting my lip, I quietly open the door and he quickly looks up. Expecting to see anyone but me I was sure.

"Courtney?" He asks shocked and I find a smile, my eyes glazing with tears. He was as beautiful as ever and it made me want to run over to him and take him in my arms but I lost that right.

"Yeah, Jase, it's me." I mummer and me and Marky walked farther into the room. I look down at my son, seeing he had fallen asleep and I slowly sit him in the chair. Dropping my bag next to him. Feeling his eyes on my every movement as he looked at me in shock. I smirk to myself and make sure Marky was situated before I turn around again and cross my arms. My hands feeling awkward, as if they didn't know where to go.

"What are you doing here?" He asked after a few minutes of awkward silence and I shrug. Walking closer until I was standing at the foot of his bed. My causal suit out of place here, but thankfully my hair was pull back in a pony tail that worked anywhere. He looked the same while I looked older, and I hated that. And when I don't answer his question right away, my eyes are drawn back to his while his lips move. "Who told you I was here?"

I just give him another smile and bite my lip. Taking a step and sitting on the edge of his bed. "I figured you needed a friend. I read it in the paper what happened, but if you want to leave I can. I just wanted to make sure you were okay Jason." I whispered and reached to touch his hand but stop myself, knowing his wouldn't feel it, so instead, I place it on his for-arm, giving it a squeeze and I could see the pained expression. "It's going to be alright." I mummer.

He gave me a cold smirk, something that was so unusual for Jason, I winced. "How Courtney?" He asked and looked me in the eyes and I saw the tears. Jason, the man I had only seen cried a few times. It killed every time and before I thought better of it, I wrapped my arms around his shoulder. Holding him close. I knew it was bold, I knew it was wrong, but he would always hold a place in my heart. He would always be a friend.

_When you need someone to catch you when you fall,  
I'll be there through it all._

_Oh-oh_

After a few moments, he pulled back. All signs of emotion free from him face. I tilt my head and give him another smile. "I'm sorry, but Jason, you have to have faith." I whispered and once again move my to his forearm, wanting him to know I was here.

"Is that Marky?" He asked, changing the subject. I knew he had went behind the mask again and I nodded. I had lost any chance I had to get through to him and I knew I wouldn't. Not for a while, so I just crossed my arms with a sigh.

"Yeah, it is. He's getting so big." I mummer and he nodded, leaning back. I stand up again, deciding he needed time. Needed time away from me, time away from anyone that made him think of the past, so walked over to Marky, but not before i left him with my card that had my cell phone on it. "If you need me Jase, there is my phone number." He nodded and took the card but put it on the table next to his bed.

Picking up Marky, I hooked him on my waist. Grabbing my bag and hooking that over the opposite shoulder, Marky's head finding a place in the crook of my neck. "I mean it Jason, if you need me, call me. I'll be here for a while." Once again he nodded and I went for the door, opening it and looking over my shoulder and giving him another smile.

"Thanks Courtney." He mummers and I nod. Walking out of the door and headed towards the way I came but I think better of and decide to take the long way and double back to the front, even with my son in my arms. I wasn't ready to see my family just yet. That would come later, when I wasn't tired and when I sure Marky wouldn't be whiny. Once I get to the elevator, the driver drove us to the Metro Court and our new home away from home.

_Just when you thought you were losing,  
But you know I'll always be right there._

* * *

_I'll be there through the good times,  
And the bad,  
And we'll be there for each other,  
You're the best friend I ever had.  
Oh-oooh_

_  
_I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I lift my head from some files. I glanced over where Marky was watching the latest episode of Word World and I stood up. Digging out the slim phone, I see an unknown number but I flip it open anyway, my assistant Sarah always had a knack for getting a new phone number because one to many ex-boyfriends had it. "Sarah, if that is you..." I mutter with a shake of my head but the deep voice stops me in my tracks. I hadn't been expecting him to call, not really anyway. He had seemed so closed off just a few days ago.

"Um, no, it's me but if it is a bad time..." He sounded so unsure, it frighten me. This wasn't the Jason I had loved for so many years. He was a different man and that scared me.

"No...no...no, not at all, I was just surprised." I mummer and walked towards the window that overload the city. I still hadn't contacted Sonny, Carly, or my father. Not even Nikolas, the father of my son. Instead I hadn't left the Metro Court. Ordering movies and room service. Holding myself up in here until I was ready to face Port Charles.

"Yeah, I didn't think I would be either." He says in complete honesty and I can't help but smile and shake my head. We had always had honesty and I new that was what we would always have. We had learned our lessons about lies and how they could destroy even the strongest of relationships. "I...I just need someone to talk to, though." He admits and I smile to myself, feeling a sort of joy that I shouldn't have felt but did anyway.

"Okay, well if you want to meet me at the Metro Court...I'm in room 568." I mummer quietly and feel Marky's eyes on me. I give him a smile and he smiles back and gets up and walks over to me.

"Momma, I'm hungry..." He says a bit loudly and I blush, knowing Jason probably heard that. I must have gotten lost in the documents and forgotten about lunch. It was the only reason I had a nanny. Most of the time, I skipped meals, but Marky was a growing boy and ate every time he had the chance.

"Um, I could grab Kelly's before I come." He says and I could hear the smile in his voice and a sort of euphoria came over me, knowing I had gave him that smile. Me and Marky that was.

"That would be great..." I say and felt my blush deepening and after a quick goodbye, we both hanged up. Stooping done, I pinch Marky's chubby cheeks. "You're just to outspoken sometimes." I say with a teasing smile and pull him into my arms. Then Lifting him up and going to get us both ready.

_And just when you thought you were falling, _  
_But you know I'll always be right there. _  
_Oh-oooh whenever you need me, _  
_I'll always be right there. _

_I'll always be right there..._


	2. In My Arms

**Title**: I'll Always Be Right There  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Rating**: T  
**Disclaimer**: I own nada, song belongs too Plumb.  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst/AU/Romance/Songfic  
**Fandom**: Journey  
**Summery**: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed but that was before she read the headline.  
**Author's Note**: Okay, so I am REALLY behind. I've gotten sick recently more times then I really want to mention, I'm so sorry. Being allergic to bees is killer. Really. But I'm working on getting the chapters updated and correcting them. Here is the next chapter in this story though. I was lucky to have this one done, and though not beta, I liked it. Tell me what you think.  
**  
Part Two: In My Arms**

The knock came 15 minutes later and I quickly zipped up Marky's pool over. "Ready?" I ask in a soft tone. He nods and runs for the door. Taking a breath, I stand up and follow his short steps. He was outside the door, waiting for me to answer, with food for me and my son. It really isn't a big deal, I remind myself, but it feels like one. Taking one more breath, I open the door, pulling Marky close to me so he couldn't run out, or jump on Jason.

"Hey." He says to both of us and I look over at Max. He was holding the bags of food from Kelly's I guessed and he looked surprised to see me. I bite my lip. He had always been infatuated with Carly but this time I was hopping he wouldn't mention seeing me to my best friend.

"Mrs. M, I mean Ms. Matthews, I didn't know you were back in town." He says once he was able to form words and I blush. It was wrong, I know, but I still hadn't called or made an effort to see my family. It was to soon, I had no idea what to say or what I was even doing after this. Until I made those decisions, I decided it would be better no to involve anyone. Except Jason.

"Max, leave and pretend you didn't see Courtney." Jason said and grasped the bag tightly. I knew he hadn't regained feeling but when I checked on Jason, pretending to be his wife, they had mention he was doing physical therapy to use his hands. Feeling or no feeling.

_Your baby blues_  
_So full of wonder_  
_Your Curly Que's_  
_Your contagious smile  
_  
Max gave me a nod and smile to Marky and quickly went off. I pull the door opened wider, and with my hand on Marky's chest, I make room for Jason to come through. He gives me a smile and comes in. Putting the bag on the nearest table and flex his hands. "How are you doing?" I ask, closing the door and leading Marky towards the coffee table. "I'll get your food sweetie."

I tell him before Jason says anything and cross back to him on the small table. He looks up and shrugs. "Still no feeling...but I'm learning to use them." I nod and open the bag, pulling out the plastic containers, seeing three Kelly burgers. Two with french fries, one with a side salad. There was also drinks, cola for me and him, chocolate milk for Marky, and 3 slices of Apple Pie.

"I didn't really know what Marky liked, so I got him Morgan's favorite." He says, sounding unsure again and I lift my head. Giving him a big smile, I reach out to squeeze his forearm.

_And as I watch_  
_You start to grow up_  
_All I can do is hold you tight_  
_Knowing  
_  
"No, it's perfect. What boy doesn't like cheese burgers and french fries? And apple pie happens to be his favorite." He gives me a smile and I drop my hand. Pulling out a knife, I cut the burger into four so Marky could pick it up without making a mess. Also putting some ketchup to the side for his fries. Crossing the floor, I put his food and chocolate milk, sans apple pie, in front of him. Letting him watch Arthur while I went to sit with Jason.

He was already setting up our food on the table, though leaving the apple pie in the bag for later eating. I sit down, tucking my legs beneath me. "Thank you by the way, for this. I sometime forget meals, which why I have a nanny back in London."

He just smiles and sits across from me. Opening his plastic container. "He looks happy though, so I doubt you're doing anything wrong." He says and smiles again. The feeling comes over me, knowing that I made him smile.

Then again, Elizabeth or Sam could have made him smile too. Reality had a way of taking any joy you had away. Shaking my head, I bite into my burger and sigh.

"How's everyone, I mean, I haven't talked to anyone since last Christmas. I still send the boy's gifts and pictures, I...I just have nothing in common with them anymore." I whisper and he looks up at me and reaches for my hand in an gesture that was both unexpected and known. When ever I had been sad before, he would reach for my hand and I felt some relief, knowing I wasn't alone.

"I know." He says simply and I nod. Knowing he did. If anyone was an outsider just like I was, it was him. Not because he didn't have the connections with the people I used too, but because no matter how strong the connections were, Jason never felt like everyone else. He felt, but after the accident, it was different. Taking a breath, I look down at my food. Our hands still clasped together, taking a bite with my free hand, I try and ignore the feelings that were shooting up my arm from his touch. Like sparks. Sparks that never seemed to die between us.

_Clouds will rage in  
Storms will race in  
But you will be safe in my arms  
Rains will pour down  
Waves will crash all around  
But you will be safe in my arms_

I bite my lip and look back up him. Hopping I didn't give any signs about what was going on with my body. Hopping he couldn't tell I was dying for his touch in other places besides my hand. It had been so long since I'd been with a man, since I'd been with Jason. "I know you do." I only whisper and he smiles.

He let go of my hand and I almost gasp at the loss of his touch, but I hold it in. Putting my fork down, I push my food away. "I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't that hungry."

He only nods and does the same as I do. Pushing his plate away, and standing up. I was afraid he was going to leave. Afraid he was going to walk out the door, and knowing it would hurt. Just like it had the first time, the second time, and just like every other time he had walked away from me. I was foolish, but I still loved Jason. Shaking my head, I stand up as well.

"I need to go take care of something, but..." He shakes his head, not finishing the sentence. Walking over to Marky, he ruffles the boy's hair awkwardly with his unfeeling hands. Then walks back over to me. "I should go. It's dangerous for me to be here."

He says. He stares at me for a moment and in that stare I knew everything he wanted to say. Our connection making me feel what he felt and letting him feel what I felt. He turned, breaking the connection. I once again want to gasp at the lost of the feeling. He walked towards the door and before I could stop myself, I followed. When his hand reached the knob, I put my hand over his. Not sure if it was to help or stop him.

_Story books  
Are full of fairy-tales  
Of kings and queens  
And the bluest skies  
My heart is torn just in knowing  
You'll someday see  
The truth for lies_

"Don't go." I whisper, knowing it was the latter now. If Jason left, it wouldn't feel the same. I wouldn't feel the same. It would be as if half of me was gone again. It was foolish but it was the truth. I look up at him. Blue meets blue and I felt his head dipping towards me. I felt me go on my tip toes. The pull was so strong. I was sure Marky could hear the crackle of intensity between us. It didn't matter. Everything went away when I felt his lips on mine.

My lips parted instantly, his tongue swiped my full bottom lip before entering my mouth. My tongue found his and as if we had never missed a beat, the kiss took us back. My other hand reached up, curling around his neck and pushing my body closer to his. Feeling the heat. Feeling the passion.

_Clouds will rage in  
Storms will race in  
But you will be safe in my arms  
Rains will pour down  
Waves will crash all around  
But you will be safe in my arms_

"Mommy." A voice broke into our clouded minds. I took a step back, breaking the kiss. My chest heaving. My pupils dilated. Just like his. I turn my head to face Marky.

"Y...Yes baby?" I hope he didn't notice that my voice was breathy or that I sounded like I just ran a mile.

"Can I have dessert?" He asked and I turned my head to Jason but he was turning the knob. I bit my lip. I knew I couldn't ask him to stay, not after this. Not right now.

"I have to go. I'll..." He started but I stopped him. Just nodding. Not needing an explanation or maybe I didn't want one. He nodded as well and left. My heart cracked and tears raced to the back of my eyes. I swallowed tightly and tried to control myself.

_Castles they might crumble  
Dreams may not come true  
Cause you are never all alone  
Cause I will always  
Always love you_

Marky couldn't see me cry. I had to be strong. I had to be a mother first and a woman later. When he was in bed, I could deal with this emotion, these feelings. Turning to face my son, I gave him a big smile. "Sure baby. Let's go get some apple pie and watch another Arthur."

Reaching down, I swung him into my arms and kissed his head. Breathing in his innocents and pure heart. Comfort enveloping me.

_Clouds will rage in_  
_Storms will race in_  
_But you will be safe in my arms_  
_Rains will pour down_  
_Waves will crash all around_  
_But you will be safe in my arms_  
_In my arms_


	3. Whatever it Takes

**Title**: I'll Always Be Right There**  
Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie**  
Rating**: T - M_(Language, Sexual Situations.)_**  
Disclaimer**: I own nada, Whatever It Takes belongs to Leona Lewis.**  
Genre**: Drama/Angst/AU/Romance/Songfic**  
Fandom**: Journey**  
Summery**: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed but that was before she read the headline.**  
Author's Note**: The next chapter in this. I really hope this will be ending soon, I think it will be. Mostly because this is the only story I've been able to get a whole chapter down without giving up.

* * *

**  
Whatever It Takes**

_People say love  
Comes and goes, but  
They don't understand_

I slowly walked to my room, taking a breath as I laid down on my bed. A photo album tight in my hand before I lay it next to me. Flipping open the first page, I bit my lip as I looked at the first picture. It was the picture Carly had taken on that first Christmas we spent together. I traced the outline of his face. Remembering how easy it had been then. Sonny hadn't know about us, AJ didn't either, it had just been me and him. Alone. In our secret place. Only Carly suspecting, me and him enjoying each other before everything got so complicated.

I bit my lip and flipped the next page, looking at the picture he had taken of me with Michael, Michael's head buried against my neck as I had my arms wrapped around the boy. This was before I had been banned from the boys life by my brother. Before I had lost all my family in less then a year. First Sonny, then Jason, and then finally the boys. I shake my head, the tears slowly tracing a pattern down my cheeks. It hadn't been fair.

Flipping the next page, I saw the picture of me and him the day before the wedding that wasn't. The day the end had probably truly began. Carly had snapped it right before she had dragged me away from Jason, the bride and groom, she had said, could not see each other before the wedding. Bad luck, she had said. Maybe that was what cursed us, maybe if I hadn't seen him that day our life would had changed. I shake my head with another sigh, silly old wives tales.

And finally, the picture I had almost not wanted to see, the wedding picture. It was, unlike the others, bent and creased. Tear stains stained it and creases turned down each edge. It was less then 6 years old and yet, looked about 30. I laughed, that sounded more like a sob as I picked it up. Thumbing it softly. Putting a few new edges and creases in it. It had been beautiful, those few precious days before our lives had been ruined. By my brother, by my sister-in-law, by the man who had been obsessed with her, by a baby, and finally by us. Pulling so far away until there had been nothing left but the one thing, the one thing we had promised never to do to each other, lies.

_What they don't know  
Cause, what I feel starts_

I swallowed, pushing past the thick ball of pain that was lodged in my throat. It really wasn't fair, to have love and lost so much. Without a fight, or at least, not a good one. A simple lie, had broken us. The lie about Sam's baby. He had promised never to lie and he had. My heart had broke, because I had believed she could give him the ONE, the ONE thing I couldn't. And the one thing I wanted nothing more to give him.

Slamming the book shut, I fling it across the room with wedding picture following it. "Dammit to hell!" I mutter. The palms of my hands going to my eyes.

I had been over him, I had been satisfied with my life in Paris, with my son. With my career. But here I was, in Port Charles, still loving the one man who I had gave my entire self too.

"Fuck." I whispered and laid back on the bed and closed my eyes against the memories. The pain and everything else that filtered around me.

_Deep inside  
It's planted like a seed  
That springs into life_

* * *

_They say it's not right_

The sun light was woke me up first and then it was the sound of something quacking. I jerked up right in the bed. Scrubbing my eyes with force and felt the tear stains right beneath them. Crusty. Shaking my head, I looked at the window. Seeing it was obviously late in the morning and then at my son who was laying on his stomach. Oblivious to my waking as he watched some cartoon show in Spanish. Of course, he probably understood every word, my Nanny Isabella had taught him Spanish along with French.

"What time is it baby?" I asked with a sigh and look out the window again. Not believing how long I had slept, then again, it had been nearly two in the morning before I had fallen into the fitful sleep.

"Es mediodía, mama." he said easily. Luckily I had listened enough to his lessons that I knew that it meant it was noon. I had slept past his breakfast and past his lunch. Guilt came over me and I quickly move to lay next to him. On my stomach as well.

"I'm so sorry baby, you must be starving." I say and kiss the top of his head and he giggled slightly.

"No mama, Jason fed me." I jerked up as his words assaulted me and I I quickly sat up. There was no way Jason was here. He must had dreamed that, but when I heard a voice call my son's name, I gasped softly.

"Marky, let's not wake Mommy." His soft voice floated into the room, and then he was by the door, staring at me. I looked up at him, knowing I must look frighting but before I could say a word, Marky was speaking for me.

"Mama's already up!" He said excitedly and runs over to where Jason was. Jason didn't lift him, probably because of his hands, but he knelt down so he was eye level with Marky.

"I see that, did you tell her you ate?" He asked and looked at the boy with such an easy smile and familiarity it made my heart ache. This was what I had dreamed about so many years ago. A child with Jason. A little boy who he would love and show him everything he knew and so many things he never would.

_And we move too fast_  
_But they don't know the meaning_  
_Of what we have_

"Ma Maman semble triste." He mummer-ed in French easily. Jason seemed to follow it though but before he could say a word, I was by both of them. Placing a hand on my Son's shoulder.

"What are you doing here Jason?" I asked quietly, I felt more then saw Marky's gaze go between us and I felt like a giant with Marky's small stature and Jason stooping but I made no movement. Watching Jason's face intently, just as intently as he stared back.

"I told you I'd be back...." He says and I shake my head. He hadn't. Then again, I had cut him off. But he would been saying that, of course not. My conscious and my head did a battle. My head won at as it usually did.

Letting go of my son's shoulder, I give him a smile. "Why don't you run out and watch TV in the living room." I asked him and he huffed, as if he wanted to stay to see what was said between Jason and I. Wanting to observe the odd scene. There had been no men in my life since he was born. Self preservation was only part of the reason for that. The other part of it had been I didn't want to give my son a chance to love someone, when I knew it would never be more then casual dating. I doomed to that for the rest of my life.

Once he was safely out of ear shot, I looked at Jason. Glad he had moved to his full height and I no longer felt like an imposing giant. His hand reached out to my face, softly going to my cheek. "Rough night?" he asked but before he gave me chance to answer, he answered for me. "Me too, though I didn't quite throw pictures around and destroy a photo album."

He voice was teasing and I fought back against the smirk. He had no idea what I had been through last night. RealizI had fallen for him all over again. Just as I had began to finally get over him fully. "Damn you," I whisper, the pain coloring my voice. Making it horse. "Damn you for getting hurt, damn you for being you, and damn you for making me love you!" The last words were to loud and he looked at my surprised. As if I had grew another head.

Maybe I had, because surely that hadn't been me. I didn't sound that needy. That desperate. The passionate. Did I?

"I..." He breaks off and before I could move back. Put some distance between us, I felt his lips crashing on mine. Hard, punishing, needy, and passionate. Just like our first and last kiss. My arms went around his neck, pushing my body closer to his. Feeling as if he broke the kiss I would die. I would loose whatever I had left of myself and fall into the black hole of despair I had just drug myself out of before reading the headline.

My tongue reaching out, his met mine and his arms were locked around my waist. Like steal bars. Keeping me, or trapping me. Depending which organ you were asking. My head or my heart. My head was all sirens, all warnings, all the while my heart was dancing. Singing a song. Telling me to move closer, let the kiss get deeper, and don't give up again.

_Wherever it is, I'll fly_  
_Whatever it takes, I'll try_  
_So don't pay no mind_  
_To what other people say_

Finally, his lips let go of mine. Both of us gasping for air. "It's still the same." He mummers and I looked up at him. Not sure what he meant, or even if I understood his words completely. His voice sounded far away in my mind. Still reeling from the kiss. "I've always been able to cut off my emotions. I did it with Sam when she broke my heart, I did it with Elizabeth after this last try, but I can't with you. I can hide it, I can put it in a box, but as soon as you are here. Kissing me, the box breaks. Everything comes flowing out and it's a rush. It's the best high and the best downward spiral, and only you make me feel like this. You, no one else. You."

My eyes dampened with tears and I knew exactly what he meant. Because it felt the same way with him. I could let people go, people who were bad for me, or I was bad for. With Jason though, I couldn't let go. I held on. Held on to all the emotions that I thought I had let go as soon as I left Port Charles. But I hadn't, hid them in a box that hadn't been strong enough to hold to them all. That had cracked when he first touched me and that had broke when he kissed me. "I know...God I know." I whispered.

_Whenever it is in my life_  
_Know that I will be on time_  
_'Cause you know why_  
_There's no standing in our way_

His lips bent down towards mine again and mine reached up for his. Needing his kiss like I needed air but before his lips touched mine, I felt a vibration. It was his cell phone against my left hip. I felt the sigh break out of us both. Sharing the same breath. "Dammit." He cursed beneath his breath. He didn't break contact though. He kept one awkward hand around me, his arm still binding me to him, as he dug out the phone. Clasping it hard, though I knew he didn't feel it. He was doing well. Flipping it open, and nearly throwing it as he does, he cursed again.

I reached out, clasping my hand over his. Slowly taking it with my hand. I had the urge to throw it against the wall, but I pressed it again his ear with ginger care. His cheeks blushed and I know he felt awkward letting me help him, but he didn't push me away. I gave him a small smile.

_When you're far and  
We're apart  
I'm really missing you  
I wanna be where you are_

"Morgan." He said carefully. Masking his breathless voice, his desire, and all the pent of need we both felt. The things that colored both of our voices, making us horse. He covered it, nearly, but I still heard it.

"Jason, thank God. Jake's sick." I felt my gut tense as I heard the familiar voice and his arm quickly drop mine. Replacing his hand over mine and taking a few steps back. His felt so far away already, and a shiver shook me. My teeth reached out to worry my bottom lip.

"What's wrong?" He asked quickly, worry replacing all the desire in his voice. "No, no calm down." He mummer-ed, this time in a calming tone. "I'll be there in a second."

I had turned away, walking to the window. My heart cracking. Knowing what his had been about. I had heard rumors, and then facts from Carly during our most recent conversations. She had been angry at the fact he had a child with Elizabeth, and I couldn't blame her. The feeling made me want to run to the nearest bathroom.

I heard his steps walk behind me, and I turned my head over shoulder. My smile weak. "You have to go. I understand."

_And if you're lost  
I'm gonna find you  
'Cause without you  
I'll break down and cry_

"Are you sure?" His voice seemed worried. I wanted to pretend that worry was for me, but that was wrong. I knew who it was for. It was for her. Closing my eyes tightly against the onslaught of pain and quickly turned my head before he saw the tears. Swallowing past the huge lump of pain in my throat.

"Of course. Your son needs you." I could see his reflection in the window and his expression would almost be comical if it didn't hurt so bad. "Go Jason, hurry."

He nodded though, reaching out to touch my shoulder, and I sighed and then gasp as it was gone as fast as it came. He walked out of my room and then out the door. Hearing the door shut after the goodbye to Marky. Quickly wiping the stray tears, I turned and walked to the door. Seeing Marky at the TV.

"Stay there Marky okay, Mama's going to grab a quick shower." He looks up at me and nods. Giving me a smile that warms me, even with the pain so full in my chest, his smile chipped away. And for the ten billionth time since Marky had been born, I thanked whatever star I had wished on to get him.

"Mama? Will Jason be back?" He asked just as I turned my back and I don't turn around because of the fresh spring of tears that assaulted my eyes.

_And you know why_  
_I wanna surround you_  
_With all my love_

"I hope so baby." I whispered before the new large ball emotion choked off my words. I quickly walked to my bathroom after that. Glad he didn't ask anymore questions. Wanting nothing more to lean against the door and give into the emotions for what seemed like the tenth time since coming back to this godforsaken place.

I don't though, knowing if Marky heard me, he'd worry. So I pushed myself further into the room. Taking off pieces of clothing as I go along. Noticing I was still in my clothes from last night. I shake my head softly. I finally dropped my panties to the floor and bent over. Turning the water onto hot. Not even turning the cold dial.

Stepping into the too hot water, I let it pelt my back as I finally let go. Tears steaming down my cheeks unstopped. The water drowning at the sobs that made me hold onto the wall, or I would have sank down to my knees. "Dammit." I whisper in between sobs.

_Wherever it is, I'll fly_  
_Whatever it takes, I'll try_  
_So don't pay no mind_  
_To what other people say_  
_Whenever it is in my life_  
_Know that I will be on time_  
_'Cause you know why_  
_There's no standing in my way_

_Ma Maman semble triste - My Mom looks sad._

_A/N: I'm thinking of making the next chapter from Jason's POV. I'm not sure yet. Let me know if you'd like to hear his point of view about what is going on with He and Courtney. _


	4. Never say Never

**Title**: I'll Always Be Right There**  
Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie**  
Rating**: T**  
Disclaimer**: I own nada, Never Say Never belongs to the Fray.**  
Genre**: Drama/Angst/AU/Romance/Songfi**c  
Fandom**: Journe**y  
Summery**: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed but that was before she read the headline.**  
Author's Note**: The next chapter in this. This time it's from Jason's POV. We've seen how Courtney is dealing with this, I've decided to give you a peak at how Jason's dealing with all of this. And a few other characters, besides Courtney & Marky, appear in this chapter. Sam, Carly, Sonny, Elizabeth, and the Satan spawn, oops, I mean Jake make an appearance. (To anyone who is a Liaison fan reading this, sorry. Not a fan, but I hope that doesn't make you angry, just joking.)  
**Author's Note Two**: I would like everyone to check out my homepage, I have a poll going as well as my new updating schedule which I am going to keep. I am working, going to school, and have a demanding boyfriend but I will try my best to keep this schedule cause I think I have been a horrible Fan Fiction author. Also, STILL looking for a beta who can work with me on a WIDE range of genre's, check out my story list to see. If interested, PM me!

* * *

**Part Four: Never Say Never**

_There's some things we don't talk about  
Rather do without  
And just hold the smile  
Falling in and out of love  
Ashamed and proud of  
Together all the while_

I entered the hospital, Max fast on my heels. He had been following me around, mostly out of necessity for weeks now and it was starting to get on my nerves. I wasn't used to be looking after, I looked after people instead. Shaking my head, I reached up to run a hand through my hair but with no feeling, I knew it would give me no comfort. "Dammit." I cursed beneath my breath.

I was dealing with this, the lost of my hands. Deal with maybe never holding a gun again, never tuning up my bike, and never holding my son again. The reason I was here. I was dealing with all of that and I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job at it, but it wasn't easy. Only thing easy about this had been seeing _her_, she had made my life bearable for the past few days. And she had made me feel things I thought I never would. Not after the ringer Sam had put me through and after all the push and pull Elizabeth and I had done. She made me feel alive again, and it shouldn't be so surprising. It wasn't the first time that had happen between her and I. It was actually almost funny how similar our start was to what we were doing now. Even the hiding bit was the same.

Shaking my head, I walked to where a group of people were standing. How Carly, Sam, and Sonny had all found out about Jake surprised me. And then I heard the arguing. I wanted to dodge it. I wanted to avoid at all cost, so I did. I walked behind the back wall out of their eye sight line and found Robin standing at the nurses station. She gave me a smile. "Hey, here to see Jake?" She asked calmly, her eyes going to my hands before looking at me.

"Their okay Robin and yeah, I am. Do you know what room. I'd like to avoid a scene." I mutter, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one had noticed I was here. Glad they hadn't lifted their head from the bickering they were dealing with. "Why are they all here?" I asked her. Wondering if she had any clues. I was wishing the one person who wasn't here was. She gave me a sense of calm. Except where her lips were on mine, then I was anything but calm.

Once again I shake my head. Getting the image and feel of her lips out of my mind. Robin's voice broke through and I let my focus fall back to her. "Yeah, I do. Jake was brought in by his babysitter and we couldn't get a hold of Lucky, because he is out of town doing something for the FBI. Then we couldn't get hold of Elizabeth, so the nurse went down the list. Sam's actually a contact, Lucky put her down a few weeks ago for when he was out of town. Then Elizabeth got our message and this started the first fight of the evening between her and Sam. Carly showed up later, I guess Sam told her about Jake in hopes she could reach you." She said and I sighed. Knowing even more I didn't want to get in the middle of it.

_You can never say never  
Why we dont know when  
Time and time again  
Younger now than we were before  
_

"Thanks." I mumbled quickly, part of me guilty that this was taking place in the public. Knowing it was partly my fault. I shake my head again and took a deep breath, giving Robin the best smile I could. "Do you have Jake's room?" I asked and she pulled out a chart and nodded. "1302. He's alright by the way. Just a little bump on the head." I let out a long breath I hadn't known I was holding and nodded. Walking past the nurses station but staying on the far wall out of all their sight, I find his room.

I stood by the door for a moment as the nurse fussed over him and then laid him back into the crib. She looked up at me after she was done and I gave her a smile as well. "He's alright. Just a little bump. He's probably more sick from getting so upset then the pain actually." She said and as she past me, she looked at my hands and then back at me.

"Do you want to hold him. If you want to sit down, I can put him in your arms for you." She said, I looked down at her. Glad to see there was no pitty in her eyes, just understanding. If it had been the former, I would have told her know but instead, I nodded.

"Thank you." I said and she nodded.

"You're not the first father to have this problem, sometimes it's the hands, most of the time it's the leg. But you are the first to accept my help without thinking it's pitty." She said with a large smile and I almost felt a blush tinge my cheeks. Almost.

_Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go_

Walking to the chair, I sat down and she brought Jake over to me. He had gotten so big since I had seen him last. She laid him in my arms and I looked down at him. A swelling of pride infusing me. He was beautiful. I leaned my head down to kiss his softly. After a few moments, I looked over at the nurse, I didn't want to be seen with him to long. Lucky was his father now, I was just a part-time in the closet dad.

The nurse walked briskly over and reached for him, giving me another smile, and I lifted myself out of the chair. "Has his mom been in?" I asked.

"Oh yes, she just went down to speak to her Grandmother."

I nodded, that made sense, Audrey was a large part of Elizabeth's life, as well as my son's. Glad that I didn't have to deal with another push, pull, angst moment with Elizabeth I quickly ducked out of the door and headed for the hallway.

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_

"He's my SON! You and Sam have no say on how I raise him. Jason is TO dangerous to allow him into my son's life. I called him, and when he shows up, he will be allowed to visit him. You, Sonny, and Sam should not. It would raise to many eyebrows and people could put it together." Elizabeth's voice carried as I got closer and closer to the elevator.

"C'mon on Carly." I heard Sonny's voice trying to calm his new wife, for the seventh time around, down.

"You're a hypocritical lying bitch. I'm glad Jason's washed his hands of you." She spat as she allowed Sonny to drag her towards the elevator. Mumbling more curses to Sonny under her breath about Elizabeth. Shaking my head, I wanted to reach up and run my fingers through my hair once more but I paused. Stopping myself. It was hard to remember that no comfort, like it used too, would come from the simple gesture.

Once Carly and Sonny had taken one of the elevators, I peeked to see if Sam or Elizabeth's eyes were focused this way. "I have a right to see Jake, he will be my step son soon." Sam said, her voice oddly calm.

"Over my dead body will you ever be alone with my son. You WATCHED him get kidnapped."

"Haven't I paid for that sin yet Elizabeth. I lost the love my life, his respect, and I nearly lost Lucky." Sam countered and I almost agreed with her. She had suffered a lot, all of my doing, and I forgave her.

"No, you will never pay enough for that sin." Elizabeth said coldly and walked off. Shaking my head, I decided to take the stair way. Glad to have missed that scene and all the others. With Max still behind me, being quiet and following my lead, I let him open the door.

_Picture you're the queen of everything  
As far as the eye can see  
Under your command  
I will be your guardian  
When all is crumbling  
Steady your hand  
_

"Everyone seems really worried about Jake." He says as we take the stairs and I just nod. "Where to Jason?" He asked as we reached the landing of the parking lot staircase.

"Courtney's." I say simply. Letting him open the passenger side door once we reached the car and leaning back in the seat. Letting my eyes drift close. Glad my son was okay and looking forward to feeling okay too.

"Sure thing boss."

_You can never say never  
Why we dont know when  
Time, time and time again  
Younger now then we were before  
_

* * *

**_CPOV_**

_Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
_

Pacing the floor was not something I THAT often. Well, maybe I did but I tried not to do it in front of my son. He was perceptive and would be able to tell I was worried. I didn't want my children to feel like Michael or Morgan, to worry about their parents. Taking a deep breath I sat at the desk, I had some papers I needed to sign for the charity, so new renovations to the orphanage in Spain. It was one of the largest of the many orphanages my charity worked with. In the heart of Barcelona in an old abandon Catholic church, which most people didn't understand. Barcelona was a large city and already had so many orphanages, why would I choose there, when there were so many other countries could use it. It probably was because I had planned on having a fresh start there with Jason and I wanted to give others their start as well, in memory of my dreams with Jason.

I had been foolish to think I was ever really over him. That orphanage was a shrine to our dreams and memories. Growling in frustration, I leaned my head down and banged it on the desk.

"Mama?" I jerked my head up, not releasing I had banged it so loudly, loudly enough to make my son notice and abandoned his TV show.

"It's nothing baby, c'mon, time for bed." He had already ate a dinner at the Metro Court and had his bath, now it was time to tuck him in.

Shuffling his feet towards his room, he hopped into bed and pulled the cover over himself. Walking towards him, I flipped on the TV on my way to his favorite pre-school channel, and tucked the covers over him. "Is Jason coming back?"

_Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
_

He asked and I took a steadying breath. "I'm not sure honey but I'm sure he'll say goodbye before go back to Paris next week."

He nodded and flipped over on his side. Kissing his forehead I turned out the light, knowing the sounds and the light of the TV would be enough to comfort him. He had gained that terrible habit from me, I had to have the TV on when I went to bed at night, made you feel as if you weren't so alone. Nick at Nite was my channel of choice of course. Closing his door softly, I headed for the mini bar. Grabbing the small bottle of vodka, I poured myself a glass and added orange juice with some ice. Needing a drink to calm me down after his question. It was the reason I had never let a man get close, he would start to care of him and I was never sure if it would last. Jason had the same effect on both of us though. Cause I wanted him to come back as much, if not more, than Marky did.

Taking my drink and the remote to the couch, I curled on the end of it, flipping it to Nick at Nite, glad to see the Nanny was on. It would keep my occupied for now.

After the first two episodes of Mr. Sheffield not getting the hint about Fran being in love with him I was about to turn it off, tired of waiting for the knock at the door and calling my self ten kinds of a fool, when it happened. The knock. Biting my lip, I place my glass down on the coffee table. It would be stupid too go open the door, and even stupider to let him in, but then again stupid is as stupid does and I was walking towards the door before I even knew it. Opening it before I could stop myself. And looking into those blue eyes before I could slap myself.

_We're pulling apart and coming together again and again  
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again  
_

"Jason."

As soon as I breath his name his lips were on mine and I was right back to where I was this afternoon. In love with him.

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_

* * *

**Author's Note**: Also, please read my homepage, got some important info being posted there! :) And as always, feed my addiction because rehab is REALLY expensive!


	5. Feels like the First Time

**Title**: I'll Always Be Right There  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Rating**: M  
**Disclaimer**: I own nada, First Time belongs to the Lifehouse.  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst/AU/Romance/Songfic  
**Fandom**: Journey  
**Summery**: Nothing could bring her back, at least that was she believed but that was before she read the headline.  
**Author's Note**: The next chapter in this. This chapter is rated M! Journey lovin ahead, along with some shit hitting the fan!  
**Author's Note Two**: I would like everyone to check out my homepage, I still have the poll going and it is kinda tied at the moment, so keep voting! Will keep it up for another week!  
**Author's Note Three**: I would like to give a big thanks to AJ for editing this chapter! Means the world to me.

* * *

**Part Five: First Time**

_We're both looking for something_

_We've been afraid to find_

_It's easier to be broken_

_It's easier to hide_

As soon as I breathe his name, his lips were on mine and I thought I was right back to where I was this afternoon; in love with him. Then his lips were gone and suddenly I was cold as if a strong winter wind that Port Charles was known for had swiped into the room and tried to freeze me. My dazed and glazed eyes looked up to meet the man who had once again set my world on fire. "Jason?" I asked breathlessly.

"Inside, Carly owns the hotel after her and Jax's divorce and the maids like the gossip." His voice had a bit of humor in it and I couldn't help but nod with a smile. I walked backwards allowing him enough room to walk in and then watched as he closed the door. "It was hell being there without you."

His voice shocked me a bit. I had no idea he'd want me around Jake. The child I still wished was his and mine instead of Elizabeth's. "How is he? Marky is always at the hospital so I know how hard it can be." My teeth reached out and I pulled my swollen bottom lip between my teeth.

Thankfully the local clinic was not far from our penthouse and the doctor was always available to see Marky. Having a son who enjoyed risk taking had nearly caused a heart attack for her more than once, but she loved that her son had no fear, had no fear of trying new things. Just scared her shitless most of the time.

"Just a little bump on the head." He said glanced towards Marky's door. "He's asleep?"

I only nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm glad. I'm sure Elizabeth was happy to have you there."

"It's not like that Courtney. Not at all." I knew that. To everyone else, Jake was Lucky's son. Only a few knew that Jake was Jason's, it was safer that way. I was torn because part of me understood Elizabeth's need to protect his son but if I had a man like Jason, who would choose his child over petty differences, wouldn't I? If Marky had been Jason's, would I have fled? No. I would have had a reason to stay then.

"I'm sorry, Carly told me about the situation." he nodded and took a step closer to me.

"This reminds of me of how we began, hiding out like this."

I couldn't help but smile and nod because I felt the same way. It had been such a long time since we had done something like this, since I had been happy like this and it was all thanks to him. "I know, before everything got so messed up."

_Looking at you, holding my breath,_

_For once in my life, I'm scared to death,_

_I'm taking a chance, letting you inside._

"We have sorta like a second chance," he took a step closer as he said the words and I slowly looked up at him and then his lips were on mine again and I knew he was right, we did have a second chance. A second chance neither of us believed we could ever have. At the end, we had been so torn apart by our pain and our lies, but now we were back in each other's arms.

The kiss took on a more passionate pace and I couldn't help but run my hands through his thick hair as his hands found my hips. Locking them to his so I could feel his swell of passion for me and I instantly became damp. He held this power over me like no man had before. Just one kiss and I was ready to go to bed, to make love. To know his body once again. No man had ever made me feel like that, before or after Jason.

"God, I need you." I whispered and he only moaned in response, reaching his hand down, he hooked my leg over his hip and pulled me up. Grinding me into him. "Oh...." I gasped.

"Bed, now, please." He whispered against my lips and I nodded. "I know the way." Jerking me up, so my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck, I balanced against him as he half carried me towards the bedroom. His lips finding mine as we topple to the bed. Our hips still locked together as we made love with our mouths. our hips making the same motions as our tongues were. "I wish I could feel how soft your skin is..."

"You can with your lips." I murmur against his lips feeling him groan against them with the suggestion.

_Feeling alive all over again,_

_As deep as the sky, under my skin_

_Like being in love, she says_

_For the first time_

* * *

_Maybe I'm wrong,_

_But I'm feeling right where I belong_

_With you tonight_

Max waited by the door dutifully, but he knew he couldn't stand like this much longer. Milo would be here in a few hours, but it felt like forever. Sighing, he took a breath and went to get a stool that was in the hall closet. Grabbing the stool, he turned around only to let out a yelp,"Mrs. C!"

"Max, hiya. Whatcha doin here? Diane?" she asked with a smile and the large man began to panic a bit. If she knew Jason was here, in a room, she'd want to know with who and he could never lie to Mrs. C. He may love Diane, but Mrs. C was his dream woman. He would give his left arm to be with her like Mr. C was.

"Uh, um, yeah." he said lamely and Carly's eyes only twinkled a bit more.

"Why do you need a stool then Max? From what I heard, you're uh quite limber as it is." he could tell she was barely holding back from giggling.

"Uh, no, not for anything like that...."

Before he could add anymore though or come up with a better excuse, she gave him a lethal smile. "Wanna know what I think it's for?" Max shook his head but Carly just smiled again. "I think it's because you're tired of standing guard at door 223 where Jason is. Margulita said she saw Mr. Morgan kissing a blond."

_Like being in love_

_To feel for the first time_

* * *

_The world that I see inside you_

_Waiting to come to life_

_Waking me up to dreaming_

_Reality in your eyes_

I jerked my sweater over my head as he shoved down his jeans without unsnapping them. I reached up to push his shirt up as my lips found his stomach. Slowly letting my mouth run down the smooth ripples before finding the V where his boxers hanged low. Running my tongue along the firm V, his own hands worked at my pants. If he had full feeling, it would have only taken a matter of seconds, but instead it took two minutes.

His hard manhood jerked against me as he saw that I was wearing just a brief black thong and I nipped at his hips. His moans and groans were like music to my ears. "I can't wait," he said on a groan and I just smiled falling back against the bed.

"Then don't." I said with a smirk and watched as he pulled off his t-shirt and pushed down his boxers. Letting my eyes see the raging desire he felt for me and I nearly reached the peak by just looking at him. He was by far the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on. Strong and big, everywhere. He came forward reaching out to run his finger up my slit to test if I was ready or not. He smiled as he felt my wetness.

_Looking at you,_

_Holding my breath,_

_For once in my life_

_I'm scared to death,_

_I'm taking a chance,_

_Letting you inside._

"All for you." I whispered and he smiled once more and pushed the thong to the side to allow his entrance and he began to slowly slide forward bracing himself on his elbows as he did.

"And this is all for you..." he whispered as his lips found mine and I moaned into his mouth as I found my way back home again.

_I'm feeling alive all over again_

_As deep as the sky that's under my skin_

_Like being in love, she says, for the first time_

* * *

_Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right_

"Whose the blond, Max? And don't tell me you don't know." Carly said to the bodyguard who looked like he'd seen a ghost. Carly wouldn't be interrogating the man if she had known who the woman was, but she didn't. Well she knew the name, Charity Mason, but she had no idea who that was. Jason did though, very well it seemed. She should be happy just knowing it wasn't one of the sluts that panted after Jason, IE Elizabeth, Sam, or Robin. But that wasn't enough for her. She had to know who it was.

"I can't tell you Mrs. C, Jason would never forgive me!"

"Well then how about this, go to the bathroom for your alibi, because I'm going to go see who is in there." Pulling out the slim card, she waved it in his face. "The master key."

"You can't do that!"

"I'm the owner and his best friend." Smirking at the bodyguard who now looked green, she turned on her heel and headed to the room. Jason should have known he couldn't keep something like this from her, especially in her own hotel.

_Where I belong with you tonight_

_Like being in love to feel for the first time_

* * *

_We're crashing_

_Into the unknown_

Our pace was as old as time, keeping rhythm with each other until the only sounds were our breaths and the room smelled like our desire. "Oh Jason!" I moaned, my back arching against him as he shifted and began to hit a deeper spot within me.

"God!" he moaned in return, my wet heat clamping tighter around him until I felt myself reach the edge. My eyes closing tightly.

"I can't....I can't hold back...." I gasped out.

"Look at me, let me see you, let me watch as I take you." He said, his voice deep and husky and I could only give in. Blue met blue as I lost control. Spiraling down into the white abyss where only pleasure lied. I felt him loose control but didn't hear as I was to gone in my own moans and screams of pleasure.

_We're lost in this_

_But it feels like home_

* * *

_I'm feeling alive all over again_

Opening the door, Carly looked around. "Hello?" She said in a low voice. "Management?" she added after a few minutes. When she got nothing, she walked further into the room.

"YES!" she heard and jumped. She knew that sound, it was Jason. In pleasure. Eyes going wide, she walked towards the door hearing muffling sounds and smiled. Jason was making love to some woman she didn't know. She knew every woman he made love with because he never took such a step without thinking about it first.

Going back to the front door, she shut it before sitting down on the couch. She would wait until they were done and then she would talk to Jason and probably the woman too. Whoever came out first. Pulling out a nail file, she began to file her nails as she waited.

_As deep as the sky that's under my skin_

* * *

_Like being in love, she says, for the first time_

_Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right_

Cuddled next to Jason, I felt as if I was in another world. It had been so long since we had done something this and it had felt so right. This was my home. By his side. Looking up at him, he looked down and smiled. "Wow." I whispered with a smirk.

"Wow," he said back and we both laughed.

"I need a drink and to check on Marky." I didn't want to leave his arms, but I knew I needed to check on Marky in case I screamed.

"I'll come with you then we can take a shower. Together if you want." the small blush that fanned his cheeks made me smile and knowing he wasn't planning on leaving made me feel relieved.

"I'd like that." Grabbing his shirt and a fresh thong, I put them on as he slid on his boxers. Grabbing my hand, he led us out of the bedroom and when he stopped suddenly, I ran into his back. Standing on my tiptoes, I looked over his shoulder seeing my former sister in law on the couch.

"Carly!" I said, surprised.

"Courtney!" she said, sounding just as shocked. "I should have known when Margulita said it was a blond!"

_Where I belong with you tonight_

_Like being in love to feel for the first time_


End file.
